What it Means to Practice Yoga for a Long Time

a nod to the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali

a little flashback to my daughter a few years ago, fitting in her yoga practice wherever and however she could:)

Building a practice that lasts

“This practice [yoga] is grounded when it is performed for a long time without interruption and with zeal.”

-Barbara Stoler Miller, Yoga: Discipline of Freedom

“Abhyasa [devoted practice] is nurtured by a sustained, steady rhythm and a dedicated heart.”

-Nischala Joy Devi, The Secret Power of Yoga

“Practice becomes firmly grounded when well attended to for a long time, without break and in all earnestness.”

-Swami Satchidananda, The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali

Above are three quotes of sutra 1.14 from three different translations of The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. Notice though, that the first two are by women - see how they’ve taken the liberty to retitle the sutras for a more modern approach? It seems to be a testament to how women must modify the traditional approach to suit the lives of modern women, which is what I’m aiming to do here with Urban Yoga Mama, though I’ve narrowed my approach to mothers, and not just women in general.

Why? Because motherhood compels us to transform our yoga practices to suit our lives as moms. For instance, if a mom reads the above quotes, they might think, “Ha! Well, then I guess yoga isn’t for me. I don’t have ‘a long time’ to practice and I definitely can’t do even the most basic things without interruption.”

Well, mama, I have a hunch that the long period of time that Patanjali wrote about is going to vary for each individual. After all, we’re not all starting from the same point. Some people need more yoga than others, some need longer practices, some do fine with short bursts of practice, and we all need different combinations of postures, breathing, and meditation to release stress and maintain peace.

Does this all sound too complicated? You might wonder how you are supposed to know what combination of practices works for you. Truly it is a journey of discovery. But wouldn’t you rather make that discovery by your own careful efforts, rather than just doing what some yoga ‘authority’ tells you to do? I began writing Urban Yoga Mama with the hope that I could go beyond just teaching yoga (a.k.a. telling people what to do on and off their yoga mats) and make that leap towards inspiring and empowering you mamas to sample the practices, check in with yourselves, and decide what to keep and what to leave behind.

When you take that time and effort to build your own practice, it’s more likely to stick. It has personal meaning for you; it’s more relevant to your life and you are free to modify it as your life changes. It’s a really powerful way to create a rooted yoga practice and by that I mean a practice that is stable and regular, yet flexible enough (think tree branches blowing in the wind) to withstand the storms of life.

Are you with me? Okay, then the first challenge is to find the time and space to play around with the various yoga practices so that you can find the ones that work best for you.

Time and space: the container for our yoga practices

Before we dive into how we find more time to practice, we should clarify a very important detail: the quotes above from the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali aren't really referring to a single instance of yoga practice. It’s not necessarily feasible to always practice for a whole hour or hour-and-a-half every time you hit the yoga mat. I rarely do asana for that long any more; I would love to have an hour plus every day to practice, but if I waited for that kind of free time to open up, I’d never get started. The essence of sutra 1.14 calls us to be more consistent: a daily practice of 10 minutes is better than a weekly practice of one hour. Sure, you may not feel like you’re going as deep or letting go as much, but it’s more about the relationship you are creating with yourself on a daily basis.

Let’s pause for a moment to consider how ‘a long time’ is a very subjective amount of time with this typical example:

“Mom, this is taking forever,” said my 3-year-old son to me once as we drove somewhere. The sarcastic mom in me wanted to say, “You know who takes forever to do every little thing??” Like every small child, he moves at his own pace according to his whim. If he takes 20 minutes to walk a block, it’s no problem to him. If brushing teeth takes 10 minutes with only 30 seconds of actual brushing, that’s par for the course.

I really did feel an urge to reply with that sarcastic comeback, but I held my tongue. What does it really mean for something to take a long time? Isn’t it so subjective? I remember being a child and feeling sometimes like something that took 15 minutes felt like it took forever. 

Notice how the feeling, the personal response to the situation, literally makes something take a long time. A 3-year-old is impatient and has very little concept of time, patience, and delayed gratification. Of course he’s happy to spend ‘a long time’ doing things of his choice, but switch to something he’d rather not do and it will always take forever no matter what. So maybe we shouldn’t focus on how long we need to practice to achieve ‘results’ (whatever those results are). Maybe it’s best to let go of however long we think we should spend on yoga and focus more on the feeling we have as we practice, no matter how briefly.

First, I’d like to suggest that we let go of taking it all too seriously. Think about how much kids love to play. Bringing an attitude of play, wonder, and curiosity to yoga makes it much more palatable. Wouldn’t you rather bring an air of lightness to your practice so that you actually look forward to it? Here, here, and here are some kids yoga ideas I’ve share over the months that are suitable for yogis of all ages!

Here’s a lovely quote about loving our practices so that we actually devote ourselves to the endeavor: “...you can continue your practice for a long period of time, without interruption, only when you love it. If you have not cultivated love and respect for your practice, it will be a continuous struggle to do it…” The quote comes from a Yoga International article by Pandit Rajmani Tigunait. Think of that; recall some of the most trying struggles you’ve had with your kid(s) and how it is all worth it because you love them. So we must love our practices if we really want to practice for a long time.

Second, the best way to start is to set very realistic expectations, even if they seem ridiculously simple or even inadequate. Finding time is a daunting challenge, for sure. If you’re a mom of small children, it can feel impossible to find any time at all to practice. It’s an even bigger challenge finding uninterrupted time, unless you have the means to pay for childcare so you can practice, but if I know moms, that time spent while your child is being cared for by someone else very easily gets eaten up doing a dozen other things (because there’s always too much to do). 

So I encourage you to take one small baby step today and decide on how long you can practice yoga daily. Is it three minutes? Five or fifteen minutes? More? Be realistic. Then designate a spot for practice. It doesn’t always have to be the same place, but it can be nice to have a special area that you associate with your practice.

What constitutes real yoga for real busy mamas? (the ‘ingredients’)

You might ask, but what is this magical yoga practice that only takes a few minutes a day? If it really is more than just postures, then how do we weave the other aspects of it into our lives so that we do have time for it? It’s not a magical practice at all and it won’t take away all your problems. To quote myself in a piece I have yet to publish:

“Every yoga mama wants to know what postures to do to get rid of their specific aches and pains. We want yoga to make us feel good, balanced, calm. I have good news and bad news about this. The bad news is that yoga doesn’t always make us feel calm, at least not right off the bat — maybe you feel centered in the poses that come easily and stressed in the ones that you struggle with. The good news is that if you practice consistently and with compassionate attention towards yourself, you’ll be able to assess what you need from your practice and whether or not you feel perfect won’t matter anymore.”

You won’t feel great all of the time even if you practice regularly. But you’ll feel more grounded and be more real with yourself about how you’re doing and what you need.

I assure you, the time is there. What’s stopping you up is actually choosing the correct practices that you can fit into a mini session. I can’t tell you how many times I’ve had students come to me in face-to-face classes with commentary like, “I have to come to class, otherwise I just won’t do yoga at home on my own. I don’t know what to do,” or “I’m not sure what practices to do at home so I’d rather have someone lead me through a class.”

I think that the pandemic changed this somewhat, with the explosion of online yoga offerings once we were all trapped at home. In fact, for many, now it seems like too much to have to transport yourself to a yoga studio or gym when you can just open up your laptop and do a yoga video. But of course, you still have to find the videos you like and the ones that are most helpful for you that last a length of time that is feasible for your busy schedule. I can’t recommend Brea Johnson’s Heart and Bones online yoga studio enough here. Many of the classes are not necessarily ‘traditional’ yoga but they are created with functional anatomy in mind and accessible for people of varying abilities and experience. There are many other online offerings, which is so great for mamas that don’t have time to transport themselves to a class, or the flexibility to leave home for an hour or two.

Of course, with so many options now, you have a little more homework on your plate. You have to sift through all those options to find the ones that suit you best.

There are a few ways to go about crafting your own yoga practice to make it not only feasible, but satisfying and even fun. If you’re a beginner or have just a little experience, it will take a little more trial and error for you to find the practices that work for you (btw, I’ve been dreaming of creating a Basics of Yoga for Busy Mamas course just for beginners to acquaint you with the essential you need to get started - please comment below or message me if that appeals to you:).

 If you have some experience or have been practicing for years, you already have a foundation. It then becomes more a matter of shifting your perspective; if you had been luxuriating in long asana practices and meditations, but now you have less time since becoming a mom, you will need to get creative in taking smaller sips of your practice at regular intervals. I’ve offered a little bit of that here on Urban Yoga Mama over the years, but if you’d like to see more, comment below and let me know specifically what types of practices you’d like me to share here in the form of posts, videos, or audio.

To simplify for now, incorporating a balance of postures and focused breathing is a good start. Once those become steady, you can add some meditation, though I know that not everyone loves seated meditation. If you squirm at the thought of sitting still in silence for long periods of time, consider shorter forms of meditation or more creative forms of it (like sitting for just a few minutes), like walking meditation or simple mindfulness activities. Check out this article on some ideas on meditation for people who don’t like meditation.

Staying motivated

“You do not rise to the level of your goals. You fall to the level of your systems.”

-James Clear, Atomic Habits: An Easy & Proven Way to Build Good Habits & Break Bad Ones

I’ve started reading Atomic Habits and there are so many gems in it. The quote above is one of them. It’s so easy to fall prey to the thought that if only we set goals, then we’ll improve our lives. 

The systems that Clear is talking about above are those little baby steps that you take. It’s the small, frequent habits that really instill change because they are so doable. They aren’t as daunting as some big, ambitious goal (and who are we trying to impress, anyway??).

So what is your system for making sure you keep up your yoga practice? Do you share it with a friend? Do you wake up early, before the kids, to get in some meditation or asana? Do you wait until your kids are napping or at school? Or do you simply practice for ten minutes while your kids watch TV?

Whatever you do (or feel you could do) to stay connected to a daily practice, think of how you feel about it. Do you look forward to it? It’s nice to have a practice that you truly take refuge in, or that restores your energy and calm. Remembering and appreciating why you practice can help you really be present with it. Otherwise you’ll fall into the trap of just going through the motions to check off the yoga box on your list.

If we go back to those translations of sutra 1.14 that I shared at the beginning of this post, there’s a little clue at the end of each one about how we can maintain motivation. Miller says we must practice “with zeal;” Devi says we should practice with “a dedicated heart;” and Swamiji urges us to practice “in all earnestness.”

If we want to stay motivated, we have to be dedicated, devoted; we have to love it and look forward to practice. So my advice along these lines? If you find yourself less than enthusiastic about your practice, either change the content of your practice, or change your attitude and approach. Easier said than done, I know. But that little change can make such a difference.

I also have a hard time making changes (I write many of these posts to myself!). One of the ways I stay motivated is to reflect on old versions of myself or read things I wrote when I was in a different mindset. Here’s one old post from 2018 on finding time for yoga. It gives me perspective and brings back sweet memories.

Happy practicing, mamas! I hope you find some short and sweet practices that help you stay balanced and give you what you need to keep perspective.

My son ‘doing yoga’ on my. back (a.k.a. hijacking my yoga practice, haha!)