sometimes my yoga practice looks like this:)
“The earth has music for those who listen.”
-William Shakespeare
Yesterday was the new moon, just the day after our first day of spring! I had meant to post a little yoga love yesterday, but hey, we’re still in the wake of that new moon and frankly, I needed to get to bed after a hectic day of momming…
So I thought it would be nice to share an excerpt from a Yoga Mama Manual I’ve been working on for a couple of years. The chapter it comes from is called “The Art of Listening.” Here goes:
The ultimate self-care: knowing yourSelf
In yoga, we have the practice of svadhyaya, the practice of getting to know yourSelf (the capital S is there to remind us that this is what some call your true Self, your spirit, that part of you that bows and says namaste to all the other Selves out there). Knowing yourself is not so much about what kind of espresso drinks you like, what your hobbies are, what your vocation is, or what types of movies and books that uplift you. That kind of knowledge is just a bundle of small details about a sort of constructed self you show to the world. Svadhyaya is more about a feeling of being present to a Self that is already there within you, a sense of place in your family, the community, the world...even the universe. More than anything, it is a sense of who you are in your own skin and soul. Okay, maybe I’m getting too cosmic here, so let’s bring this back down to earth and nail down a tangible description of svadhyaya as it applies to yoga mamas.
Better yet, let me share with you how I practice svadhyaya and then we’ll see how you can form your own approach to it. It’s different for everyone. So, here goes: my practice of svadhyaya is deceptively simple. It consists of journaling, meditation, and noticing my body/mind/emotions while I practice yoga asanas on my yoga mat. Eventually, the highest practice of svadhyaya comes at random moments, off the yoga mat.
For instance, sometimes meditation for me is a slow walk around the block or even around my living room, and a yoga session on a chaotic day might be breathing and feeling my feet on the ground as I wash dishes. There are the formal practices that most think of as ‘yoga,’ the ones where we are on our yoga mats or meditation cushions, and then there’s another level to it, where I take those concrete practices and try to use the same quality of self-awareness and reflection in everyday situations in my life, even if it’s as simple as dropping my shoulders down away from my ears in a moment of stress. That’s true listening and it brings us closer to our true Selves.
Moving from the story of yourself to experiencing your true Self
Okay, this all sounds great, but exactly how do we get to know ourSelves? On one level, we oscillate between being different kinds of mamas: grumpy, playful, serious, busy, bored, worried. But there is part of us that is there watching those various moods pass through, and that’s what meditation is for, to notice these various moods as just moods that are more transient than our true Selves.
Sometimes just sitting on the meditation cushion or striking a few poses on the yoga mat aren’t enough to give us a fair view of our true Selves. I like to take inventory through journaling. So much of yoga is about going inward, but now and then you have to let some things out to ‘clean house,’ mentally.
Here are some prompts (not at all a complete list) that can help you shine light on the fodder and dust off what’s blocking your light from shining through:
At this moment, what are the most frustrating aspects of your day?
What time of day or situations make you feel most/least energetic?
What time of day or situations make you feel most energetic, inspired, and motivated?
What gives you the most joy (this can be a thing, person, situation, or activity)?
What scares you the most?
When the shit hits the fan*, what actions can you take to keep yourself centered?
What are your deepest, heartfelt beliefs? Are you spiritual or religious? And/or do you draw inspiration and guidance more from intellectual pursuits like science or literature?
What are your dreams for the future? What is your version of your best self?
Describe (in your opinion) your version of your worst self, and some words of love or encouragement you have for that part of you.
Anything you write about the prompts above, or any other prompts you might generate on your own, are your personal story. Maybe you’ve heard yoga teachers guide their students in sitting quietly to ‘let go of your story.’ It’s a way of zooming into the present. No matter what we’ve done or what we aspire to do, there’s this moment and it is free of your story. Yes, you are a yoga mama; maybe you’re a working mama, a stay-at-home mama, a volunteer mama, or whatever label you use to define what you DO. But, the art of listening doesn’t ask us to drown out that story. No, we listen to it, then we rise just above it. We can still see it, and live out the story — our lives as moms — but we can sense there is more than the events that make up our life situations.
So here’s my proposal: before we even step onto a yoga mat or take a moment at the kitchen counter or nearby wall to strike a few yoga postures, let’s do some work on getting to know our own stories: who we are in the world, what drives us, what frustrates us, what we’ve accomplished, and what we aspire to. It’s sort of like listening to your child cry or throw a tantrum, and rather than telling them to shut up (which is essentially what many people mistakenly do to themselves when they try to ‘quiet the mind’ on the meditation cushion), you listen, notice how emotion moves through the body, then take a deep breath and release those thoughts and emotions from your body.
After telling our own story through journaling (or even through therapy or talking to someone you love, if writing isn’t your go-to), then it’s so much easier to be present to what we need in general and from moment to moment. Sometimes this type of writing helps us let go of our past selves, but if you must incorporate some asana, here’s a very accessible place to start in this post from last year.
What helps you feel more in touch with yourself and yourSelf? Is it a yoga practice or something else?
Also, in honor of the new moon (and all its phases) here’s an article on syncing your practice with the phases of the moon.