Mini Yoga Sessions

are they enough?

image of Kali from Yoni Shakti: A Woman’s Guide to Power and Freedom through Yoga and Tantra by Uma Dinsmore-Tuli. Kali always comes to mind when I’m feeling fierce

When Mamas get bitchy

Last week, I had quality time with two of my dear mom friends and both times the conversation came around to how sometimes we get so inundated in our role as mothers that we become bitches. This was all said in laughter, but also said in earnest and somehow it was one of the most affirming things. “Me too!” we exclaimed as we bonded over how overwhelming motherhood can be. To be clear, we love our kids and believe that our work as mothers is very important, AND we get tired and overwhelmed. We need more help, support, and time for ourselves.

I mentioned to one of those friends that when I hit that point of frustration and my voice takes on an edge with my kids, I try to remember that there’s something I need that I’m not getting. After all, when kids get whiny and have meltdowns, it’s usually when they need something, too. Our ‘mama tantrums’ are real and we talked about the obstacles to getting our needs met. It wasn’t just lack of time or support, either. Sometimes our own heads got in the way, relentlessly going over the things we ‘should’ be doing when we’d rather be doing yoga, going for a walk, or something else pleasurable and relaxing.

Mamas, I hope that you can read this and feel some compassion for yourself. Whenever you snap at the people you love the most, slow down, sense into your body, notice what’s on your mind. What do you need or want right now? This is one of the most profound types of ‘yoga off the mat,’ as they call it. Can you do this in real time? Sometimes I can, and sometimes I can’t.

Even better, can you preemptively blow off steam so that you’re less likely to reach that point of flipping your lid? Or, if you reach that point, maybe just with less intensity? Oh, how hard this can be! I’m not even going to tell you that it's just as easy as stretching for five minutes a day. It’s not, because you are beautifully complex and all the layers of you — physical, mental, emotional, spiritual — are at play here. But let’s break this down. Yoga poses work first on the physical plane, but the effects ripple into the mental, emotional, and spiritual parts of us. For a little more on these layers of our being, check out these old posts here and here on the topic, if you have time. But first, let’s find the time to practice yoga.

How much time do you really have anyway?

When I first began writing Urban Yoga Mama back in 2018, I had a two-year-old daughter who was my whole world. I knew at some point I’d want to work again outside the home, but as a fairly new stay-at-home-mom, I was completely absorbed in her needs. I did, however, still practice yoga but unless I left her with my husband so I could go attend a class or do a longer practice at home, I was doing mini yoga sessions either while she napped or while she played.

I did even less yoga on the mat once her younger brother was born in 2020. He had (and still has) a strong drive to climb all over my body whether I’m doing yoga or not. Maybe you can relate:)

Anyways, it occurred to me that a little bit of yoga was better than none, and that little bit actually did make a difference. The effect wasn’t just physical, but mental and emotional, too. I’m talking 5-10 minute practices that helped me to release stress and keep me grounded. No, I did not feel the same floaty exhilaration I’d get from a one-hour class, but I did feel better.

How about you? What stage of motherhood are you in (how old are your kids?)? How much time do you really have anyway? For many moms, it’s either mini yoga sessions or nothing. It’s true that this type of lifestyle doesn’t last forever, but it can last long enough to make you lose your sense of well being if you don’t get enough support.

Starting small

Some moms have a great support system, with a nanny or relatives living nearby that help regularly. But some moms don’t have that kind of help and that’s when starting small becomes a necessity. The question is, if you only have 5-10 minutes (or even just 3 minutes), how do you choose which poses or practices to do? Many of you might be seasoned yogis who know a whole class format and pine for it daily. Others might be new to yoga and have no clue where to start (ahem, that’s why you’re reading my posts, right??).

The short answer to this is: do whatever you want! Sensing and responding to your body’s needs is more important than doing something someone else tells you to do (ah, the power of a home practice!). The long answer is, try to move your body in different directions: side bending, back bending, forward bending, and twisting. This can be a fun exploration if you have enough yoga experience and know how to do the poses already. However, if you don’t know what to do and how to do it, find some books, videos, or classes. For classes both short and long, my absolute favorite online resource is Heart and Bones Yoga. I’ve also heard great things about Yoga with Adriene on YouTube, which I have yet to try, and I also have a YouTube channel of relatively short yoga videos, which you can view here. There’s a video at the end of this post sharing a very short standing practice that I hope you try. If you’re pressed for time and don’t have the bandwidth to read the rest of this post, go ahead and skip right to it now:)

Habits create mindsets

“Your identity emerges out of your habits.”

-James Clear, Atomic Habits

In his book Atomic Habits, James Clear talks about creating the identity you want so that you can fuel the habits you want to embody. He says, “The ultimate form of intrinsic motivation is when a habit becomes part of your identity. It’s one thing to say I’m the type of person who wants this. It’s something very different to say I’m the type of person who is this.”

So here’s a great question to ask yourself: are you the type of person who practices yoga? I don’t mean the ultra-skinny, bendy type in a Lululemon outfit who sips on kombucha after class. I mean, is yoga important enough to you that it’s just as essential to your life as sleeping or brushing your teeth? And if you’ve never done yoga, or just have a little experience with it, are you curious or motivated enough to stick with it, whatever that might look like for you?

Because there is no one type of Yoga Mama. I’d venture to say that if you’re reading this right now, you are a Yoga Mama! You’re taking the time to look into ways to integrate yoga into your life. Can you find ways to do the inverse, too? Can you integrate your life into yoga? In other words, can you choose practices that support your body and mind’s needs? That’s when it becomes most relevant, and therefore essential to your lifestyle. It takes practice. It takes a little research, and some trial-and-error. That all comes with time, but it can be five-minute segments over weeks or months. You’ll be surprised how much you can learn and get from those little bits of time.

What’s your motivation?

When I say let’s integrate yoga into our lives and our lives into yoga, what I mean is, let’s craft a practice that supports who we are and what we do day to day. How you assemble your practice depends on what you want to get out of it. Your motivation(s) for practicing yoga are key to keeping your practice consistent. There are many reasons people do yoga, including:

1. To get more flexible

2. To get stronger

3. To improve balance

4. To release/manage stress

5. To guide their spiritual practice (yes, yoga is traditionally a spiritual path!)

If your main goal is to gain strength rather than flexibility, you might do more demanding poses or you might hold certain poses for longer. Then again, you might feel yoga is a form of damage control, where you bring your weary, frazzled mind and body to the mat to release stress and get grounded. Your reasons for practicing might change over time, or even day to day.

  Take a moment to sit and really reflect on your reasons for doing yoga. Maybe even write them down as a first step to exploring them more — you might start with one motivation, such as increasing strength, and find yourself gaining more than just muscle tone as you find more calm, too. 

So you’ve begun to explore your why for practicing yoga; let’s get into the what. What are the basic movements that make up the various yoga poses? Every pose can be modified, simplified, or broken down into parts. Read on to find out what I mean.

Movement ABC’s

In her course, Modern Yoga Teacher Essentials, Brea Johnson of Heart and Bones Yoga explains the idea of Movement ABCs: types of movement we can find in yoga poses. For instance, you might have internal or external rotation of the femur bone (your thigh) or the different directions you can move your spine (flexion, extension, side bending, and twisting). There are more, but these are some of the ingredients of movement, the language of our body as we shift through yoga postures and sequences. You can always go for the movements that you feel you need the most (for instance, if you sit a lot, you can do some hip extension). For a more well-rounded, whole-body practice, think of sampling a variety of movement types (extension, flexion, and twisting in the spine, internal and external rotation in the hip and shoulder joints, and some focused breathing). I’ll get into the nitty gritty of these over the next several months, but for now, just consider moving your body in various directions and ways.

Walking the walk

I know this isn’t easy. You even had to take five or so minutes to read this (that’s time you could have spent doing your mini yoga session!). All those choices we make during the day are so basic, but they get to be so tiring. Do I take a shower now or wash the dishes? Rest or do some yoga? Sweep the floor or go for a walk? That’s the first struggle: finding the time to practice and take care of yourself.

The next struggle is motivating yourself. That’s why I included the section above on reasons why people practice yoga. You need a why as much as you need a what when it comes to yoga. Actually, the reasons you practice often inform what types of practices you choose. This is one reason why practicing at home can be so powerful. Without a teacher instructing you on what to do, you have the freedom to sense into your own body and make intentional choices on what to do. Of course, it’s still valuable to get guidance from a teacher, but don’t let that keep you from exploring yoga on your own.

Another struggle is staying present. There will be days when no yoga poses is the best choice. Maybe you’re menstruating or just exhausted and a nap is a more appropriate self-care move. Staying present helps us to listen to our bodies, sense our needs, and respond appropriately.

Ashley Zuberi

writes often about the values of doing a more restful yoga practice when we need it.

Lizzie Lasater

also offers some great encouragement to take it easy in our yoga practice now and then.

I must confess that I often look over some of my posts here on Urban Yoga Mama and I feel like a hypocrite at the same time I think, “What a great idea or piece of advice I’ve offered here!” It’s so easy to talk the talk, to name what we think we need most, but to actually do it is the next level. I can talk the talk (that’s why I’m a writer), but I so often have a hard time walking the walk. I say that so you know it’s not easy. It won’t be automatic, and you’ll need encouragement and support. That’s what drives me to keep writing here, to create a sense of community around this most difficult, inspiring, frustrating, rewarding intersection between yoga and motherhood. I’m walking hand in hand with you, Yoga Mamas! So, without further ado, here’s a little video of one five-minute yoga practice. I hope you enjoy it. I’ll post these regularly over the next several months:)

 

 I hope you enjoyed this post - it’s just the beginning of my next phase of bringing you more videos and recordings. I’m really a writer at heart (and a mama who loves practicing yoga solo), but I know that sometimes reading feels like an extra ‘to-do.’ Thanks for hanging in there to the end of the post and I hope you stay with me as we go on this Yoga Mama journey together. Jai Ma!

And one more thing, do check out the book I linked at the beginning of the post under the drawing of Kali. Uma Dinsmore-Tuli is such a powerful Yoga Mama and teacher!