The Spiral Path of Yoga

rambling reflections on the road

a labyrinth we found at Santa Fe Railyard Park

Seeing the Sights

Last week I left on a road trip with my family towards my nephew’s wedding just outside of Salt Lake City, Utah. We started our journey from our home in Chicago, swept south to St. Louis, Memphis, Texarkana, and Austin and then west to Lubbock and then Santa Fe. There is much to see and so much distance to cover and we are definitely taking the long way to Utah!

It occurred to me that a road trip is not so much about getting somewhere as it is to just be on the path. On the road. Don’t get me wrong, covering that kind of distance in a car with little kids can be a little brutal, but it can also be inspiring, boring, interesting, and liberating. Yoga practice can be like that, too. At least for me, it’s not always about being on cloud nine.

Oh, and sitting in a car for that many hours is tough. I’ll be real: in the past 11 days I’ve only rolled out my yoga mat one time. I can’t even claim to have done much in the way of spontaneous yoga poses whenever we stopped along the way. That’s okay, though. There’s years of yoga in my bones, and I’m not saying that to justify putting my formal practice on the back burner, but to say that it’s okay now and then to switch gears. 

As I’m writing this, my daughter started teaching my son some yoga; it wasn’t prompted by me at all! It was an encouraging sign that my own practice has brought a good influence into my parenting, though:)

Anyways, so much of true yoga isn’t so much about doing anything per se, but about a way of seeing things. How can we step back and get a wider view? A clearer perspective? How can we maintain what we’ve learned and realized on the yoga mat (or meditation cushion) and bring that ‘more yogic’ point of view into our lives?

Most of all, how can we just soak up the beauty of it all? Sometimes these kinds of breaks in formal practice are great for getting off auto pilot and preventing ourselves from just going through the motions with a bunch of yoga poses.

I don’t really have any advice or yoga hacks for you all today. Just a little peek into my mind to maybe inspire you to get a peek into your own.

The Spiral Path

I’ve heard the phrase ‘yogic path’ and ‘path of yoga’ or other variations of these a number of times and the more I proceed through my own practice, the more I feel like maybe this isn’t a path at all. And the more we think of it as the path, the more we long for and push towards that magical destination, that enlightenment, that sense of having achieved after so much hard work. I’ve thought about this for years, but I’ve especially reflected on it during this road trip.

I think of this when I start to miss how I was before having kids. I look back at that more carefree, spontaneous, physically fit version of myself and feel nostalgic. It’s not that I can’t recover some sense of free-spirited spontaneity and physical fitness in the body and mind that I inhabit now. I can, but it will not be a backward journey to how I was before. I’m still me, of course, but changed. Motherhood brings us to repeated realizations that we travel up a spiral path: hitting some familiar points, but from further up the spiral. Nothing is completely new, nor is it the same old, same old.

And anyways, what is it we are trying to achieve through yoga practice? What is that perfect end point?

I’ve also heard the phrase ‘yoga journey,’ and it’s that idea that it’s all about the journey, not the destination. I agree, the journey is important. After all, why suffer in a yoga practice that doesn’t feel good in your body just because you want a tighter butt? And what about all the other benefits that come along the way, because who knows if your butt will actually assume the shape you’re hoping for?

A journey is great, but sometimes there’s too much internal, self-imposed pressure when we assume a journey. It sounds like something extraordinary, ambitious. When I think of yoga as a spiral path, I think that what I long and hope for are something more like windows and mirrors; spontaneous, momentary glimpses of some kind of revealing view. What is being revealed is something more real and true to myself. It’s a little like when you get into a yoga pose and only when you’re in it, you realize your body is tense; or when you pause to take a deep breath, you notice a low level of anxiety gripping your face or throat. 

So when I said I have years of yoga in my bones, what I meant was that I have years of practice getting those little glimpses into what I’m really feeling in my body and mind. I’ve had many of those ‘aha’ moments where I’m on the mat really sensing into my body and observing my mind and emotions. Maybe you have a lot of practice with that, too; or maybe you’re newer to yoga and struggling with stepping into that role of observer of your own body and mind. 

Wherever you are on this spiral path, know that we all encounter and re-encounter much of the same things over and over again. It’s typical to struggle with the same stumbling blocks repeatedly, but hopefully each time we do, we realize that even when we chide ourselves for seemingly repeating the same mistakes, we ourselves are a little bit different each time. And I hope that with a heartfelt, flexible yoga practice, we can gain that self awareness to be a little different each time we move up this spiral path of yoga.

Okay, enough rambling on this particular point. But I do have one more thing to add…

Releasing the fruits

In the Bhagavad Gita, there’s a concept of letting go of the outcomes of your actions. It’s an idea that I grapple with all the time. If I let go of the outcome, how can I truly care about what I do? For instance, if I care about my kids and I want them to develop well and be healthy, I should care about feeding them healthy food and giving them the opportunities to play and be active, right? If I let go of the outcome, does that mean I don’t need to do anything to foster their eating and physical activity?

It’s more nuanced than this, though. If you’re not so familiar with this concept, or with the Bhagavad Gita in general, here’s an article on the topic that is relevant to mamas. I bring this all up now, though, because upon realizing that yoga can be more of a spiral path rather than a direct line to some magical enlightenment, I found that letting go of my worried, anxious expectations is so key to just being present and in the moment. How can I stop and smell the roses, so to speak? How can I enjoy a beautiful view that I’ve become so overly accustomed to because of the busy-ness of my mind? 

It’s great to have goals. It’s essential, in fact. But it’s a balance and I think that yoga gives us a window into how beautiful life really is if we’re paying attention. Sure, it’s easier to pause and really take that in when we have a regular meditation and asana practice. But even if we let go of that structured practice now and then, we can still have moments of remembrance when we realize how amazing and beautiful our bodies and minds are. And then we forget, and then we remember again, and on and on up the spiral path of yoga.

So, wherever you are on your yogic path, give yourself much love. Give other people love. Pause more often and remember to take in the sights. And then, when you’re ready, get back to the mat. Thanks so much for following my ramble — I hope it gave you a peek into your own thoughts.

When I return from this long road trip, I’ll get back onto a more regular schedule of posting. Thanks for sticking with me! And as always, I appreciate it when you pass on the word about Urban Yoga Mama.