I’ll be honest…my yoga posture practice has been mostly dormant lately. This is generally how the yoga mats are being used in my house these days:). Yoga burrito, anyone??
Who has time for yoga?
I don’t…but I do. It all depends on what I consider ‘yoga.’ But first, I have to be devoted to my practice.
And in order to be devoted to my yoga practice, I must be devoted to myself and my Self with a capital S, not the self that is part of the word ‘selfish.’ It’s the opposite of selfish, actually. In yoga philosophy, there is that idea of your Higher Self, or your True Self: you can describe it as that Divine Spark that is more than your body, mind, and emotions. Who are you, apart from your everyday roles and identities? In some ways, this is a call to let go of even those identities we are proud of, such as our ethnicity or cultural heritage or role in the family or society, so that we can tap into what’s universal and shared between all human beings. Zoom out to get that wider perspective, and that’s where true personal growth is.
But then, let’s zoom in to the smaller details of our lives as mothers. Becoming a mom can be a huge catalyst for personal growth, too. Since having babies, I’ve realized that some of the best learning and growth comes from repetition; the everyday things, even the boring or routine things come alive if we pay attention and offer the chance for brief yoga practices. You might wonder, what does it mean to practice for a moment, or a minute, or 3 minutes?
Whenever our kids have tantrums, or when we feel there is too much housework, or when we are not quite in agreement with our spouse or partner on some aspect of parenting, how can we pause, take a deep breath, stay embodied, and address the things that matter most? It’s the more mundane, recurring things that slowly nudge us to change, either in the direction of our best selves, or closer to our less ideal versions of self. We need our yoga practice the most when things push our buttons, challenge us, or compel us to either indulge in bad habits or approach things more creatively and consciously.
It’s so much easier said than done, I know.
But let’s break this down. Yesterday was the new moon, and that’s usually my reminder to get clear on my intentions for the moment and near future. So, in the days following the new moon, here’s a recap:
Pause: this is the simplest, yet hardest and most essential step. If we can’t pause, we can’t do anything else on this list. Sometimes we’re more likely to pause if we move a little more slowly through our day. I know, we already have to slow down a lot with the pace of little ones, but slowing down can be more of a mindset and less of a literal, physical slowing down. Sometimes it’s just pausing here and there to notice our surroundings, the leaves on the trees, the sound of a distant siren, a smell from the kitchen, your child’s curious eyes. In other words, engage your senses more in the moment is the art of slowing down; it helps to not jam pack our schedules, too. Pausing takes practice, but go ahead and congratulate yourself if you remember to do it, even if you don’t take the next three steps below. Pausing is a start…
Take a deep breath: this one will be easier once you get the hang of pausing on a regular basis. Sometimes, though, if you’re really wound up, breathing deeply feels impossible. If you’re anxious or stressed, it can help to fully exhale and empty your lungs before you take a deep breath. Or, if that feels difficult, go ahead and breathe in deeply and then let out a sigh, quietly or loudly.
Stay embodied: this just means staying grounded and in the moment. If your mind is full or moving really fast, can you anchor your attention in your feet or hands or some other small part of yourself? Or maybe use some of the tactics from step 1 above, for instance, notice your surroundings with some or all of your 5 senses. At times, maybe simple movement like a neck stretch or standing up or walking around can help you stay embodied. It doesn’t have to be fancy or complicated; it just has to meet your needs in the moment.
Address the things that matter most: this can sound vague because what matters most is different for everyone. Sometimes I frame it with questions, like, ‘Is this urgent?’ or ‘What would happen if I did/didn’t do this?’ or ‘How would I feel if I were the other person that I am interacting with now?’ or ‘What might help me stay most connected to myself (and to others)?’ This can be a way to unearth what is important to you and separate it from what just happens to be stressing you out. Example: my daughter is a very picky eater. Sometimes I prepare a meal, including something she usually likes, but for some reason, she doesn’t want to eat it. Annoying, right? There have been times when I got unreasonably angry at her for such things; later I’d wish I could have just calmly stood my ground and stuck to our food ‘rules’ instead of flipping out at her. The key to preventing losing my temper at her is to…that’s right! Pause…take a deep breath…stay embodied, and then address what matters most.
Stay tuned for the next post on specific practices for staying embodied, including some of my favorite yoga poses for spontaneous practice:). Until then, the moon is waning: what’s building up in your life? What new beginnings are you saying hello to? What are you leaving behind so that you can let the seeds of your intentions sprout?