my pick-me-up one fine summer day in 2014 - jumping on the beach!
Momming is hard
If there’s anyone that needs pick-me-ups, it’s moms. Motherhood is harder than any job I’ve ever had; not hard in the way that I have to study and cultivate critical thinking and intellectual skills. On the contrary, I wish I had more time for intellectual pursuits. It’s hard because it’s physically and emotionally hard to meet the needs of small children. Sometimes it’s mentally hard as we tax our creativity and awareness to respond thoughtfully even when our kids are at our worst.
And when we are at our worst, it’s typical to look for a pick-me-up. That’s why things like coffee, sugar, tea, and sodas are so popular. They give us a little lift, they’re legal and socially acceptable substances, and they’re delicious. Actually, I’ve never been that into soda, but coffee has been my pal through thick and thin, so much so that I’ve even written an article on how yogis can use their yoga practice to work through a caffeine buzz.
More than two years after the birth of my second child, I’m more sensitive to caffeine. I still want it all the time, perhaps out of habit, but lately I’ve noticed that I don’t feel that great afterwards. Maybe because I haven’t been exercising as much, which used to be one way I burned off the jitters? Or perhaps because I’m not working outside the home, so I’m not constantly being pushed to go at someone else’s pace?
Actually - maybe you can relate to this - I feel like I’m often pushing my kids to go at my pace. Sometimes that comes as prodding my six-year-old for the fifth time to get dressed, or to brush her teeth, or whatever else we need to do to get out the door; or when my 2-year-old stops to look at every bug and rock as we walk to the car. I notice that I’m more impatient than I used to be and she’s more stubborn than she used to be, a tough combination on everyone’s nervous systems.
Yoga or Slow-ga?
It’s been dawning on me that I don’t need a pick-me-up as often as I think. Instead, I need a slow-me-down, something to get me grounded and remembering what matters the most. And sometimes when I do need a pick-me-up, I need something bigger to pick me up, a feminine force that you might call the Divine Feminine (see my previous post on the topic here. For you, that Higher Force might come in a different form). I picture her picking me up into big, enfolding arms and whispering, “Come, you can rest now. You don’t have to do everything for everyone all the time. You need your mommy, too, sometimes.”
That “mommy” that we’ll always need can come in the form of our nourishing, nurturing yoga practice, too. But sometimes we use our yoga practices to push ourselves harder, to get it right, and to fit into shapes that might not be right for our bodies. The question I have for you Yoga Mamas is, how can you try a variety of yoga practices and develop or practice the self-awareness to choose the ones that will nourish you most in this moment?
It’s a simple concept, but sometimes hard to implement. When I first began writing this Yoga Mama Newsletter, I used to add a section at the end of posts called ‘Slow-ga.’ It was a quick and easy tip for slowing ourselves down using simple yoga practices. Here is one of my very first posts, back from October 2018, that includes a Slow-ga section at the end; and another one from November 2018.
Having a hard time slowing down? Sometimes that means you need a more dynamic activity, like walking, running, dancing or whatever other type of movement you like. Sometimes it only takes a few minutes of movement to burn off any stress or anxiety that is keeping you amped up. It will give a dose of healthy stimulation to your nervous system so that it will be more ready and willing to shift into a lower gear. I’ll offer some more specific practices in the next few posts on how to use yoga to respond to the needs of your nervous system:)
An ode to coffee and motherhood
Back to coffee: I love it too much. I’m not saying it’s terrible for you, but let’s just say that the idea of ‘moderation in all things’ applies here. Sometimes I think of it like this: I love ice cream, but I’m not about to eat it with my breakfast every day. Caffeine has been my teacher, giving me some signals around what my body and nervous system need, how I can scratch that itch for something delicious and uplifting without going into overdrive, and how to use it to slow down (drinking coffee as a way to relax and have a warm beverage, instead of gulping it down to kick my own ass into gear!)
Motherhood has taught me much about moderation, too, specifically that I can only be present to my kids’ needs when I have some time to be present to my own. It’s why I go to therapy, write, maintain my friendships, and yes, practice yoga. Motherhood has taught me that no matter how much I love something, I sometimes need a break from it (ahem, you know what I mean, right?:) Yes, I love my kids and they drive me nuts, so when I get to that ‘nuts’ point, I know I didn’t lean on my yoga practice enough.
What are your favorite drinkable pick-me-ups? What about your other pick-me-ups that come in the form of self-care practices, entertainment, or socialization? Let’s share ideas with one another! And stay tuned for some posts on meeting the needs of our nervous systems in a playful way (a nod to my word of the year, Play).