I met Gordana early in 2012 when I lived in the Gracia neighborhood of Barcelona. She was working and teaching at Mandiram Gracia, a wonderful yoga center that I was lucky enough to encounter that lonely winter I was living abroad. When she learned that I was also a yoga instructor, she invited me to teach there as well. I was sad to tell her that I would be returning to the U.S., so I had to turn down that opportunity, but I kept up with her sort of distantly through Facebook.
When I began writing for Yoga Mama, she was one of the first people I thought of to interview. She is the mother of two boys, a lovely yoga teacher, and a woman full of the wisdom that comes through a grounded yoga practice. It was an absolute pleasure speaking with her on the phone and I thank her so much for sharing her wisdom and insights with us here.
My Spanish skills have somewhat deteriorated, so she was gracious enough to do the interview in English!
How long have you been practicing yoga?
It’s been now some 25 years.
What inspired you to practice? What inspired you to teach?
Actually, when I went to my first yoga class I happened to be in a gym and I just went to the gym and back then I lived in in NY and this is what people did after work. I remember the class I went to and it must have been some spinning or cycling course. It was full so I just went to the yoga class. I was really surprised by the older women (Ha! That’s what I called them back then). I was thinking, “Oh my god, they are so much more flexible than me and fitter,” I thought. I remember the teacher also did a really special savasana when he said something like, “Imagine you have a zipper in front of your chest and in your hand you have a stick and open that zipper and touch all those places where you have had some hurt before.” It was, literally, one of my first looks inside. I was surprised by what I discovered. I wanted to know some more about that.
Later on I have to say I started [to do yoga] more because of the body not so much because I was looking for a spiritual practice. I liked it but I still separated the mind from the body. But the pure yoga was more for the body.
When it came to teaching, what really inspired me is that...I came from NY, I came from working a lot and being in these corporate environments, then I went to India and this is where I really indulged in living on an ashram, doing meditation courses, going for long walks. I understand that not everyone can do that, take a year of their life to go to India. But I also realize it is not necessary. In the end, I thought, because I had this physical approach, I thought I could share this with people since a lot of people have a lot of aches and pains.
What style of yoga do you practice and teach? Why do you prefer this style?
I teach vinyasa and I practice vinyasa and I prefer this because: a) it has a physical part to it, and b) because unlike Bikram - and I say Bikram because I think it is popular in California - it allows me to design the sequences for the students. A lot of times there’s so many new people who come to class and you have to modify for them and vinyasa allows me to do that.
Do you think that yoga practice might be different for women than it is for men? Why or why not?
I do think it’s different for us...you know, I thought about this question a lot. I’m not a man so it’s difficult for me to really say, but I do think that women definitely see the body-mind-emotional connection and I think that - talking about myself - even though I was more interested in the physical part, what kept me going over the years was the mental or emotional part. I’m not so sure if men are looking for that as well. I could imagine that they don’t have it as much. I don’t know, I’m saying this and then there’s the man who was bawling his eyes out during savasana in my class, so you know...but now I think that in classes we have like 80% women and 20% men.
I think a special newsletter only for women is extremely important because it’s representing a tribe that we have lost over the years. Women used to watch other women giving birth and breastfeeding children and get tips for raising children but now we don’t have that anymore.
Has your yoga practice changed throughout your different experiences as a woman? For example, did you practice before, during, and after your pregnancies? Do you think it’s important to modify your practice during menstruation?
I did practice throughout my pregnancy, I practiced up to the day of the birth of my first child and I could hardly wait the 40 days to practice again [after his birth]. Because it was such a part of my life that I could not deny this part of my practice just because I was pregnant. I was also not, shall I say, lucky enough during my second pregnancy because I didn’t have the energy. It’s not a rule, when you feel like you want to practice, go ahead and practice. When you feel like you cannot, modify your practice because you will have to modify so many things after you give birth. I feel weird when I see a woman with a one-week old in Zara shopping because they don’t want to modify their life. There’s a time for shopping, a time for yoga and a time for everything...the modification part is important in general, to not compete with men, to let everyone play their role. You know, I teach pregnancy yoga and there’s the phrase, “Don’t only do yoga to do it well but so it can do well to you.” Haha, it sounds better in Spanish! Anyway, I think when I walk into class, I try to remember for me how I tried to find the difference between this is not for me or it’s too difficult. Even pregnancy, or the postnatal part, I wanted the yoga to do some good for me, I didn’t only want to do it good.
It’s changing, it’s not static. This is the beauty is that it can change with you. So when I did practice when I was pregnant, it was really for me even though I had practiced for 10 years, it was like practicing for the first time, because you’re practicing with ‘someone’ and finally I was really in the yoga zone because I was so present. And my breathing improved so much because I was focusing more. I notice this when I teach pregnant women, they’re really doing it and it’s really gratifying. [In a regular yoga class] Sometimes you see people are not there so you try a special asana to bring them into their body but the pregnant women are really there. And also what I really hear from pregnant women is that ‘in your class I can finally be pregnant, because in society there is no modification allowed.’ So society is not really inviting for pregnant women and most of us have to work and also there is big competition and there’s competition with men and with women, like between us. Usually what is publicized in the big newspapers is like “look at her, she had a baby she has no belly she is already out there.” You can’t really lower your guard. And then some people prepare their nest when they’re pregnant, because they think after the baby they will not be able to do this anymore. And then they kind of forget they’re pregnant. In class, you’re being reminded of being with the baby, you’re being reminded of two.
With the menstruation I think it really depends on the women. First of all, we are all different from each other. And we are different from one pregnancy to the next. And it also depends on your age, we are different when we’re 45 from when we’re 25. Some women, when they are menstruating, they feel like having more sex, while some want to be alone. I would recommend they always practice close to a wall, whenever they feel like putting up their legs, they can just do it. The teacher should hold that space for them, so they can have the confidence to do it.
If you really don’t feel like[taking a regular class], take a restorative class. Don’t feel like you cannot, because you should do whatever floats your boat. Make it a place where you can listen to yourself. Me personally, if I’m on my heavy day of my period like my second day, I cannot practice.
What I just said is the most difficult thing: to know what you need and how to adapt. I do think the yoga practice can help us to know how to do this and not only to try to live up to some super woman that might only be in our head or in the magazine.
The only person you should compare to is to yourself so if you became a little bit of a better person then it has done you some good.
For life postnatal, don’t expect the hour. Really don’t, and make yourself a 10-15 minute sequence. This can be with surya namaskara or something else, but maybe not if you are breastfeeding or holding the baby a lot and you need to release tension. Forget about the hour, forget about the silence. Practice even though there is construction work next door. The world is not gonna stop because you want to practice.
Maybe after [birth] it’s a time to think, ok what does this baby need? The only thing it needs is a happy mother, it doesn’t even need a clean house because it doesn’t care. If that includes a yoga practice, maybe it’s worth it, get a babysitter and go to a class. Or give the baby to the father and don’t be guilty about it. I know that when I practice I’m a better mother. I’m more patient, I’m more kind, so for me it works. But I also remember in the beginning I felt guilty.
Does your yoga practice help you with your role as a mother? If so, how?
Yes, definitely, even now. It’s the time I have when I don’t really speak. It’s the time when I do balancing postures. I think more like, ok, how can I balance? If I can work more on challenging postures, I also realize how other situations are difficult for my son because he just changed schools. Like what I expect from him, I also get from my practice. Once you think yoga is going to be a life practice for you, you have to bring your life to the mat and your mat to the life. I can see that whatever I do on my mat, I bring it to my life.
If you make this decision to bring yoga to your life, then you will also never feel like you are not practicing. Every breath can be your practice.
Gordana still teaches at Mandiram Yoga, but now in the city center of Barcelona.