In sickness and in health
“Yoga is the journey of the self, through the self, to the self.”
-Bhagavad Gita
At this time of the year, I look forward to coziness. Think of a dog circling in one spot before it lies down to doze. Sometimes my yoga practice feels that way: I turn a few circles, going nowhere in particular except deeper into myself, then I lie down to rest. Lately I’ve been needing extra rest: I live in California, and the smoke in the air from the recent fires did a number on my asthmatic lungs. The coughing lingered and after so many cups of ginger tea, honey, and raw garlic, I resorted to antibiotics. There’s nothing like asthma plus a chest infection to make you appreciate breathing.
In fact, my asthma is what initially drew me to yoga. I still have asthma, but now I also have this great practice for helping me navigate through the highs and lows of life. At first, yoga became a way to refine my relationship to myself and to others. Gradually, as a mom, it has challenged me to maintain the best relationship I can with my daughter. I’ve come to see it is sort of a feedback loop: in order to foster a loving, caring relationship with my daughter, I absolutely must have a good relationship with myself.
Which brings me to my greatest challenge this past month. As I said, the fires out here on the West Coast hit me in my weak spot. Being sick for weeks makes mothering much more challenging than it already is! Through the haze of my low energy, I rediscovered the practice of yoga nidra as well as two yogic practices that are explained in The Yoga Sutras of Patanjali. The Sanskrit terms for these two practices are tapasya and santosha, which are often translated into austerities and contentment.
I’ll visit these practices in more detail in future posts, but for now let’s clarify: like many, I tend to think of tapasya more as self-discipline. That self-discipline is a type of fire and you get purified in that fire which comes through your focus, efforts, and endurance of hardship. So first my daughter got sick, then my husband, then me. And after all that, I was pretty tired but I still had to play the role of mom. If that’s not a form of tapasya, I don’t know what else we could call it.
Then, along with the frustration and boredom that can come with sickness, there’s always the option to choose contentment over complaining. It’s hard to be sick when you’re well acquainted with the pleasure of feeling good. I remember when I began doing yoga as a teenager, the discovery that I had that yoga can not only make you feel good; some time on the yoga mat can make you feel exhilarated, ecstatic, yet calmer than you’ve ever felt. But throughout my adult life, whenever I wasn’t feeling well I was always faced with the challenge of staying connected to my yoga practice during those times.
So the question comes: should a person do yoga even when they are sick? The answer is, yes, but the practice of yoga might not be what you think it is. If you ask me whether or not someone should do postures on a mat when they are sick, I’ll say, “It depends.” Then I’ll go on to gently remind you (and myself, because I forget, too!) that there are other aspects of yoga practice that don’t involve doing postures on a mat, and that these can be done while you’re lying in bed, walking, and doing so many other ordinary activities.
So what are these practices? Aside from yoga nidra, here’s one of my favorite things to do when I don’t feel well physically:
Read. Yes, reading can be yoga if it is material that helps you reflect on your higher Self; or something that helps you to zoom out to the bigger picture of life and how you fit into it. Sounds lofty, I know.
5 minute meditation in a supported or restorative pose. Get out your cushions, pillows, blocks and blankets. Maybe an eye pillow, if you have one. Some favorites are supported bridge or supported supine butterfly (look them up, go to a restorative class, or write a comment on this post and I’ll give more details). Close your eyes, breathe, relax, enjoy. Or, if my little one is awake and romping around, sometimes I’m happy to just lay down to do some supine poses with her, or roll around on the mat for a few laughs.