Habits, not goals
“Motivation is what gets you started. Habit is what keeps you going.”
― Jim Ryun
Yoga mamas embody circular time, first in the form of menstrual cycles, second in revisiting their childhood through their children’s eyes. Seasons come to mind here, as well as the phases of the moon. Sometimes it seems as if we go through the same things over and over again, but that isn’t necessarily bad. Life isn’t a straight line and if our lives were songs, we wouldn’t worry so much about the goal, at least not at the expense of the journey.
There is a teaching in the Bhagavad Gita about letting go of the outcome of our efforts. It sounds counterintuitive: if we don’t care about the result, then what is the point of any endeavor? I’ve turned this little bit of yogic wisdom over and over in my mind. How does anyone ‘find their passion,’ do a good job at work, and raise kids, for goodness sake, if they don’t care about the outcome?
As usual, words trip us up here. It’s not about caring or not caring. It’s good to care and have a goal, as long as you know that you only have some control of the outcome. Any woman who has given birth knows what I’m talking about here.
I tend to get a little extra self-critical around the new year, when everyone is all gung-ho about their resolutions for self-improvement, as if January 1st were a magic turning point that makes all possible. Guess what? It’s not, but if we think of time as circular, revolving with our cyclical experience as women and mothers, then any day or even any moment can be a turning point. I thought I’d mention this here, since people start losing momentum toward their new year’s resolutions a few months into the year.
Remember the story of the Tortoise and the Hare: Slow and steady wins the race. Except that life is not a race, but a journey, and yoga reminds us that the destination is within. I spoke with a friend of mine who is a swami through the Integral Yoga lineage and I asked her how I could possibly let go of the outcome and just focus on what needs to be done in the moment. She said that the soul always wants to return to the source, so that whatever I put my energy towards should make whatever I do authentic and appropriate for the moment. It sounds lofty, but its actually very down to earth and starts with something tangible and close to home: your body, namely your posture.
Posture is a habit that can be slowly modified through yoga. But even more importantly is the ‘posture’ of the mind. At least for me, that aspect of myself is more elusive and therefore harder to transform than my physical posture.
So cheers to habits, rather than goals. Let’s look more within and less towards a goal projected upon an uncertain future. Here’s a practice that fosters that slow, gradual change that ocean waves have upon rock cliffs. It is a sequence on forward bends and how to work in the process of forward bending without worrying so much about touching the toes or straightening the legs. Enjoy, and please feel free to leave questions or comments. We’ll build more on this next week. I can’t promise you’ll be able to touch your toes by next week, but I will do what I can to help you breathe and be aware of where you’re at. Trust me, a deeper breath and deeper awareness is always better than pushing yourself deeper into a pose just for the heck of it.